Are you withholding Emotional Pain?

Published on 14th June 2022


Certified NLP Trainer. Professional Coach and Corporate Trainer.

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Kiki Ng


The most common form of withholding is what we commonly call “the silent treatment.

It is our unwillingness to express our true feelings and our unwillingness to give support, praise, or positive attention to the people, especially loved ones, whom we might sometimes perceive to be difficult or unreasonable.

It is a dysfunctional pattern that creates a breakdown in communication and understanding.


Withholding is a learned response and it can be unlearned.

😭 Find safe places to begin to express all that you’ve been holding back.

💬 Make an effort to say what you’re feeling and thinking constructively.

👏🏻 Give praise when praise is due and also acknowledge the other person's feelings.

The more you do this, the healthier you and your relationships will become. Remember that no one deserves to be ignored 🥶, disrespected 😰 and shut out 🥲 without knowing why.

If you still find it hard to stop this unhelpful behaviour, join our NLP sessions to learn mind tools for effective behavioural change.